Gratitude and Appreciation

 

I am thankful for the here and now.

On most weekdays, my house is relatively quiet as everyone but my husband and I has left for work or school. The noise of a full house of people and their day will descend on us in shifts from 2:30 to 6p.m.  Some days I welcome it, but sometimes in what feels like just as many days, I do not. I pine for the peace and quiet.

 The beginning of retirement was not the happy go-lucky days, as in “everyday is Saturday” that friends used to brag about to me. Although I did enjoy a trip to Key West celebrating my retirement, these last eight months were far from anything I thought or dreamed of how the summer of this retirement would be.

I had visions of weekday pool parties with some of my fellow retirees. I planned to spend one-on-one time with my younger grandchildren.

 I scheduled a much overdue knee replacement for the end of April. That surgery was relatively uneventful, rehab was challenging, more so than I and my rehab team could have imagined. Something was ‘off’. But I soldiered on, sort of, hoping to pick up with my summer plans.

Have you heard the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him YOUR plans.”?

I don’t recall conferring with the Almighty, but my plans were dashed by a Brain tumor. It was the pesky culprit that was making me seem ‘off’ and constantly falling, among other unsavory symptoms.

So, one might ask, “how can you write about gratitude and be thankful with such a scary and potentially deadly episode, derailing your summer of retirement”?

Let me tell you the upside to all this crap.

My family calls me the accidental matriarch. It’s not a role I signed up for or a club I wanted to join, it just happened and with our revolving door, and always seeming to have ‘room at the inn’, it is a place where more than a few have landed and stayed till their world stopped spinning out of control and made their way back into it. It’s what we do.

Where does my gratitude come in?

The matriarch had brain surgery on Friday the 13^th and needed constant care and attention and everybody stepped up into some sort of support role. My husband took the over and set up everything he thought I would need, from a hospital bed set up in our living room to a commode with special liners so it could be easily emptied (he was especially proud of his thoughtful and practical purchase). He took over my daily medications and being the Libra that he is, never missed a timely dose.

I am grateful for him stepping up and taking over the care I needed. He is a man that was not used to taking the reins of messy stuff like that, and he did it seamlessly. In all our years together, he never changed a poopy diaper, but never hesitated to empty and clean the commode.

All I had to do was sit back and get better.

I am grateful for the family members who dropped what they were doing and stepped in to do what needed to be done: my brother for making things happen and especially my sister, assuming the unpleasant task of keeping my nethers clean and fresh when I wasn’t able; my kids for always ‘being there’ and assuring I was comfortable and not in need of anything; my older grandchildren and their friends displayed their potential for empathy and caring for another person. It is a very rewarding feeling that our family is who we are and what we do.

I’m grateful that this bump in the road sent a timely message to my family that everybody has an expiration date, and mine came close.

I’m grateful that this episode has made my family realize that as strong as I appear and often hold others up emotionally, sometimes we all have cracks in our veneer, ‘even the tough up the middle’ matriarch.

I’m grateful for people that have offered prayers, sent get well cards and Mass cards. It’s a thoughtfulness that fills my heart.

With this holiday season, I am most grateful that I had thanksgiving dinner at my sister-in-law’s with my 86 year old Mother-in-law, who I am most confident says a second rosary in her nightly prayers, just for me, she has said so every time I see her.

Our annual family Festivus is tomorrow. We are a very boisterous bunch with lots of strong personalities that some might find overwhelming, and it only adds to our reason to celebrate.

I’ll be grateful to be there.

 

 

 

 

 

Leaves, Leaves Everywhere

 It's been over a decade since I wrote about Todzilla and Leaving the Leaves. 

It was a day that a rambunctious Toddler, named Meghan but aptly called, Todzilla, got the chance to blow off some of her endless energy and have some messy fun, much to the chagrin of her mother who preferred to dress her little girl like a prim doll. But through the years Meghan, also known as Toddy, has proven her strong will and among other things, dresses as she pleases, and it's rarely prim and polished. That day of leaving leaves in a huge pile and letting a toddler jump into it, tossing handfuls of leaves into the air, was memorable and most of us enjoyed it.

Today Toddy is putting most of her energy towards sports, mainly field hockey and basketball. She's a small person but has the hutzpah and spunk of a beast trapped in that small body. In our family we don't have too many smallish members, coming from 'good peasant stock', and she struggled emotionally when she realized that her lifelong height probably won't go beyond 5'2". She barely reached that height this past summer. It was a time of personal celebration.

She also is growing into a striking beauty. For the homecoming dance she wore a beautiful blue dress, cut high on the thigh hemline, cascading hair, perfect make up and finished off the look with white high-top sneakers. Yup, that's Toddy. 

For me, the beauty of autumn and falling leaves is awe-inspiring as the season changes and staging the finale of warm weather preparing for the short days and long nights of winter.

Meghan noticed that big maple tree the other day and said, "Grammy, look, the tree still has most of it's leaves."

And so it does and Toddy is wearing her white high-top sneakers.

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'Tis The Halloween Season', The Picture in The Pet Store 🎵𝆔𝆔𝆔💀🖼😁

 

"How much is that doggy in the window?

The one with the waggly tail."

That song by Patti Page played a constant loop outside the pet store as I walked along Fifth Avenue. I could hear it as I left the Starbucks sipping my $5.25 Pumpkin Spice Latte.

I browsed the pet shop window watching the cute puppies wrestling with each other in their fat fluffy puppy bodies. Knowing it was not wise to go into the shop, I lost my inner argument with myself and went into the store anyway. What harm could it be just to watch them at play?

I went in.

There was a tank full of Clown fish, almost as fat as the puppies. Next to the puppies was a cubby of kittens not as playful as the puppies but just as fluffy and pudgy. A solo bird cage across from the counter held a blue macaw.

Behind the counter was a young woman who seemed to be preoccupied with a program streaming on her tablet and listening attentively through her ear pods.

The Patti Page song continued to play over and over.

I noticed a faded picture was hanging on the wall behind the woman at the counter.

The picture blinked.

I thought it blinked and then it yawned! The macaw started to mimic the picture’s yawn. I looked back to the picture and it began to grin at me.

“Go ahead,” said the macaw. 

I motioned to the woman behind the counter, pointing back and forth between the bird and the picture but she was entranced by what was on her tablet.

All at once the bird began to sing along with the Patti Page. 

"How much is that doggie in the window?

The one with the waggly tail…"

And then the picture shouted, “Oh why don’t you shut up?!” The bird continued, “I do hope that doggie is for sale.”

The picture yelled at the bird, “I don’t want some parrot that talks.” But the bird continued, ”That doggie will have a good home.”

By this time the lady behind the counter looked up, unplugged her ear pods and said, “Can I help you?” Finally, I had her attention but the bird went silent and the picture faded.

I asked what was up with the picture and the macaw and their bickering, not to mention the singing. “Excuse me?” she asked and was clearly annoyed with my question.  The picture winked at me. “Never mind”, I said and skedaddled out the door.

The song still looped outside and I heard her say as the door closed behind me, “Okay, boys. Continue.”

'Tis the season for spooky fun.