Something I Really Want to Say About Mother’s DayLike most moms, I’ve experienced some pretty different and interesting Mother’s Day gifts over the years. On this day some Moms will be given gifts that might have Mom give pause and think to herself, “hmmm, did I drop you on your head or something when you were younger?” What she might really want to say is, “What were you thinking?”
Then again, there are other Moms who will get the kind of gift that will bring tears of joy, gratitude and maybe pride.
If you’re lucky enough to have Mom still with you this Mother’s Day, I really want to say that there are particular cues and clues your Mom might offer when you ask her what she would like for Mother’s Day. Some moms are coy. When asked what they want for Mother’s day, they wave you off and say with a breathy sigh, “Oh honey, you don’t have to get me anything.” This is a lie.
You may not have to get her anything gift wise, but you’d better have a least a pretty and elaborately designed fru-fru die-cut Hallmark card with gooey sentimental verse, in the mail, and delivered no later than the Saturday before Mother’s Day. Thursday or Friday is better, it gives her a day more to show it off and admire it as it is displayed on top of the television. This also indicates that there was a lot of forethought in this particular selection. Moms like it when their kid thinks about things in advance. It shows good training.
That very same question to a different Mom might get you a response like, “Please, you really don’t have to get me anything, just a card if you want.” This would be my response and it is not a fib. I really don’t want the card, but if you must, don’t waste a stamp, because I know you’re going to stop by anyway. I will still proudly display it on top of the television in recognition of your thoughtfulness and good training.
Pay very close attention if, when asked that same question, you get a response like this, “Just once, I’d like to stay in bed all day, drink my coffee with the newspaper and my book, have some Chinese food delivered around 2 o’clock and just decadently hang out in some solitary time.” This is what I would really want. This decadent self-indulgent wish can only be achieved if the house has been vacated. If you counter the suggestion that this scenario could be achieved in the living room, this is a fantasy on your part, even of the house is empty. There are too many ‘to-do’ things in plain sight of moms that you simply do not even have in your field of vision. What she really wants to say, and means, is “It’s a day alone in my room or nothing.” Unplugging the phone is an added bonus.
If you plan to make your mom dinner and you ask what she would like, make the meal that she asks for. If she asks for meatloaf and baked potatoes, make her meatloaf and baked potatoes. Again, a counter suggestion for something you might find more tasty undermines the offer of cooking for Mom in the first place. If Mom asks for something specific and you are financially able to get it for her, get it. Moms wouldn’t usually ask for something material on Mother’s day unless it is very important to them and they don’t want to leave you to your own devices. How would you know if it’s something she really, really wants? She will use the word “really”, as in, “I really would like to have a day at a Spa”, or “ I really would love to have a new set of golf clubs.” The word “really” in Mom vocabulary really does mean, “really”.
Moms are sincerely grateful when their little ones give personally created gifts to their Mommy. It is a warm and fuzzy heart filling feeling when a little one gives his or her Mommy that little plaster cast of a hand print, with a poem like this, “Here is my hand, So tiny, so small, to hang somewhere upon your wall.”
Think of the smile you might bring with something like a plaster imprint of your grown hand, “Here’s my hand, not so tiny, not so small, if you ever need me, just give me a call” and add the simple sentiment, “Thanks for being my Mom.” There is no price on that kind of clever and sincere sentiment. Priceless, creative and sincere.
To men I really want to say, “Don’t expect your wife to buy your own mother’s Mothers’ Day card.” If you’re already buying a card for your wife, include your own Mother’s while you’re at it, unless, of course, your wife forbids you from making that selection. That also indicates good training.
Overall, Mothers’ Day shouldn’t be a complex ordeal. It is simply one day that officially and maybe a little superficially honors Mom. Mothers’ Day is the occasion to honor the gift of our own mother.
It’s our opportunity to shower her with a little more love, care and warmth that we might not take the time to do throughout the rest of the year. No material gift can match our love for Mom, but it does attach meaning and significance to the occasion in our own small way.
Here is one final sentiment that I really want to say about Mother’s Day. My own mother is dead but I remember her every Mother’s Day with purchasing the card I would have given to her and I give it to my Mother-in-law. She loves it and puts it on top of her television, right next to the one I purchased from her son and me. I mail it, of course, so that it arrives by Thursday.