That's my dad!

A young man stands up among thousands of loudly cheering people. He is beaming as Tim Walz, his dad, is about to accept the nomination for a very public office. His pride and love for his dad has him so overcome with emotion he is moved to tears as he exclaims to the crowd, “That’s my dad”! The crowd might not have heard his exclamation because of their own joyful cheering.  The cameras did not spare this young man’s very personal and loving response. 

It was raw. It was heartfelt and full of unconditional love.

I found Gus Walz’s reaction to his dad’s acceptance of his vice president nomination on that stage refreshing. How many 17-year-old boys are self-aware and confident enough to be so openly emotional? As a culture many boys are sometimes brought up to not cry or show emotion that might be perceived as weakness. 

It is bullshit. 

                                                

Within minutes Gus Walz was ostracized by small minded and mean people who have no fffing idea what it is like to have a neuro-disconnect. A disconnect that can impair one’s ability to appropriately function in situations that can trigger overstimulation.  

Auditory hypersensitivity may cause one to overreact to sounds or overly noisy places, especially arena noise. If it can’t be filtered out the overload is mentally and emotionally challenging. 

I know first-hand what this is like. I have a grown grandchild who suffered a TBI as an infant. He leads a productive life, but noise can be a trigger, especially if he’s tired. It's brain fatigue. Dyslexia haunts a few in my family. My oldest granddaughter has found a way around her type of dyslexia by challenging herself to specific learning modes. Noise is not her trigger but she has learned how to navigate what does overwhelm her through her working life. I know myself as a brain tumor survivor. I don’t go anywhere without my noise filtering ear plugs. 

Neuro fatigue is your brain’s signal to take a break. It is a very real thing. But sometimes one can’t control the environment. Noise and crowds are sometimes a part of life. 

Whether or not neurodivergent how many 17-year-olds are equipped to know how to control an external environment especially of crowds and noise? There is no handbook or manual. We have to figure it out as we go along and we have to accept it.

Unlike computer code there are no patches to fix what the brain lacks but only workarounds. 

I wish for all those that said mean and obviously uneducated remarks never have to figure out such workarounds. 

Have a nice quiet day. 

Christmas 2014

December 25, 2014 was THE  Most relaxing Christmas Day ever! In my almost 42 years of marriage Christmas holidays have always been more of a hassle and emotional burden , much to the chagrin and disappointment of my husband Mike. He is the person who lives for the moment of this one day when he sets up the coffee, plugs in the tree lights and come prancing though the hallway excitedly gushing, “He was here! He was here! Come on, get up, Santa was here!”
If you’re not a morning person, tough luck. His exuberance will not be denied. If you ARE a morning person., tough luck. You will just have to stay in bed until he can orchestrate the beginning of Christmas morning. This is his indulgent pleasure, to keep the magic of Christmas morning, magical. He does a fine job of it, at that. From there we have cinnamon rolls with coffee and orange juice, it’s tradition

My problem with Christmas is the work involved to get to this one day. For many years, from Thanksgiving forward, a list of names was compiled with a potential gift idea for each person on that list. Then the logistics of who will purchase, who will wrap, when will we see the giftee and did we remember to get a gift receipt ensues. As nieces and nephews have grown to young adults many of the gifts have become the gift that never gets returned, cash. Everyone likes to get cash. I like the idea of signing a card with a personal sentiment and dropping a dollar amount inside that will certainly be put to good use and is always appreciated. Nobody ever hands back a card with cash and says, “ I already got this, can I return it?”

I really do like to give gifts, but not so much to exchange gifts. I am  blessed and fortunate to be at a place in life where I can acquire almost anything I want or need with my own means. Maybe not right away or in a moment’s whim, but I don’t do without much and I don’t have to wait all year for Christmas Day to purchase socks and underwear.  It’s a good place to be. I am grateful to be in such a place.

So, you might wonder what made this Christmas seem so much more relaxing than previous ones. I am not so sure, not much of the day’s routine was radically different for Christmas of days past. I stretched out on the sofa after our cinnamon rolls and coffee breakfast. I watched A Christmas Carol (Reginald Owen) for the third time in 2 days while texting playful witty banter between my sister and brother. I started the gravy and meatballs for dinner and the hubby took over from there, preparing the ravioli while I made the salad.  He fed the younger grands so they could go about their Christmas day and then the rest of us sat down to a leisurely dinner. It was delightful. The Sons-in-law cleared the dishes and stacked the dishwasher, we had coffee and dessert. The day ended  by seven o-clock and I found myself back on the sofa, stretched out and recounting just how awesomely relaxing this Christmas day had been, full of peace, comfort and joy. The bar has been set high for next year to measure up. I won’t stress about it. I’ll bask in the glow of this year.

Merry Christmas!